I sewed Larry’s entire shirt – a western, with nice
coordinating flag prints on the main shirt sections – without ever once
noticing that the flags on the right front were upside down. But he’d only had it on five minutes this morning
before Caleb said, “Oh! Look! Daddy, your flags are upside down.”
But there was no time to worry about it—and worry wouldn’t
have turned the flags right side up in any case. I put on my sandals, yelled, “Everybody in
the car!” and away we went.
I’ll tell you what happened: You see, the left side of the shirt was made
of one kind of fabric, the right side of another. I cut out the left side, spread out the flag
print for the right side… put the pattern piece down, making sure the flags
were right side up… I was just ready to
cut it, when I realized, Oops, I’m
cutting out another left side. So I
flipped the pattern piece over… fitted it onto the material… and forgot all about
flags being right side up. I pinned, cut,
and sewed, without ever giving it another thought.
After we got home from the picnic, we received the
following email. I could’ve guessed who
it was from even if the email didn’t have Bobby’s name at the top:
Subject: RE: Larry’s shirt
To whom it may concern: According to international standards of
flag-flying etiquette, the American flag, when flown upside-down (that is, with
the stars in the bottom left-hand corner) is universally recognized as a symbol
of distress. To prevent all and sundry
from rushing up and attempting to render first aid or other assistance, I recommend
that Larry stand on his head whenever he wears that shirt in future.
Sincerely, Professor Smart
E. Pantz
Yeah, we have a funny son-in-law.
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